What Domestic Abuse Looks Like!

The mistreatment usually starts gradually with emotional and mental abuse and over time becomes an open secret of covering up black eyes and broken bones. For the abuser, domestic abuse is about controlling someone’s mind and emotions just as much as hurting their body.


Signs of Abuse

If you’re afraid of your partner, that’s a big red flag. You may be scared to say what you think, to bring up certain topics, or to say no to sex. No matter the reason, fear has no place in a healthy relationship. If you feel like you’re being abused, there’s a good chance you may be, and it’s worth getting help.


If your partner bullies you, you are being abused!

Accuses you of having an affair. Blames you for abuse. Criticizes you. Tells you what to wear and how you should look. Threatens to kill you or someone close to you. Throws things or punches walls when angry. Yells at you and makes you feel stupid.


If your partner controls your access to money and basic necessities, you are being abused!

Keeps cash and credit cards from you. Puts you on an allowance and makes you explain every dollar you spend. Keeps you from working whatever job you want. Steals money from you or your friends. Won’t let you have money for basic needs like food and clothes.


If your partner cuts you off from family and friends, you are being abused!

Keeps close tabs on where you go and whom you go with. Makes you ask for an OK to see friends and family. Embarrasses you in front of others, and it makes you want to avoid people.


Once your partner knows that you want to please them more than yourself, and that you are all alone, the violence ramps up and by then, you feel trapped. There is a way out!

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In October 2012, I decided that the gaslighting, threats of suicide, sexual abuse, and daily uncertainty had to stop one way or the other. His erratic behavior showed me that he no longer gave a f#@%